


Come Back be Here

by felicityollies



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Brainwashing, Canon Rewrite, Canon-Typical Violence, F/M, Kidnapping, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Torture
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-07
Updated: 2018-04-16
Packaged: 2018-08-07 08:06:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7707073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/felicityollies/pseuds/felicityollies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Moments after Oliver became the happiest man on the face of the earth… Felicity was taken from him. He almost loses himself in the search for her, but when she finally comes back to him it’s somehow worse than before.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I was literally just thinking about this while i was sitting in the backseat of my parents’ car.....and then there was a spiral on twitter.... so here we go.

Oliver nuzzled into his fiance. _Fiance_. God, he loved the sound of that. He’d barely gotten to utter the word, but he loved it. Felicity Smoak had agreed to marry him and he was the happiest man on the face of the earth. He pecked her lips gently before nuzzling the side of her nose again. Nothing else in the world mattered. He was lost in her and he didn’t care.

It was a few minutes into their limo ride when things started to go wrong.

The limo came to a stop. He leaned away from her, searching the outside of the car for the cause, but he barely had a chance to register what was happening when a round of bullets began to pelt the car. The car shifted, moving lower at a speed that was somewhat jarring. Each tire was taken out, flattened and rendered useless.

Oliver threw his body around Felicity, using himself as a shield to protect her. The only thing he cared about in that moment was her life. She was more important than he ever would be. He kept himself wrapped around her smaller frame as bullets and glass came through the windows. The driver ahead of them was slumped over the steering wheel. There was no way for them to get out of there and he didn’t want to risk moving off of her to get to the front seat. 

The spray of bullets ended, but he was slow to lift his head. Suddenly, the doors were ripped open. He was ready to fight. They were tugged apart again. Again. It was a similar manner in which they had been torn from each other in Darhk's lair only hours ago. These were the same men, he had no doubt of that. They pulled the two from the car, but he wasn't going down easily.

He swung his fist and nailed one of them in the face. Blood spurted from the man’s nose, but Oliver paid him no mind. He pulled and tried to get to Felicity. She was the only thing that mattered. Felicity screamed and he struggled harder to get away. The man who he had punched got him in the side of the head with the butt of a gun. Now he was gripped by three large men, while he was forced to watch the others manhandle his fiancé. Her shouts and cries made his chest ache. "He's going to kill her," one of the men whispered in his ear.

"No!" his vision was already beginning to blur. 

The bloodied man moved, letting him go, but before he could do anything something hard and heavy came down against the back of his neck. His vision swam and a wave of nausea crashed into him. They dropped him onto the ground. He looked under the car, seeing Felicity's bright heels as they dragged her away, kicking and screaming.

"Felicity," he choked out, his words barely audible to his own ears.  
Darkness crept in on him. He could feel it enveloping him and swallowing him whole. Felicity was gone and his light was snuffed out.

* * *

Days turned into weeks and then into months, but there was no sign of Felicity anywhere. Oliver didn't know what to do with himself. He couldn’t eat; he couldn’t sleep. Every moment that went by without a hint of Felicity, he could feel himself growing more and more obsessed. He refused to do anything but train during the day and search for her at night. The Ghosts didn't make anything easy for him. Even if he caught one, it was only seconds before they bit down on their cyanide pills. It was a waste of his time.

The rest of the team were working just as hard to find her, but they kept hitting dead ends. They couldn't get back into his lair. Most if it had been destroyed anyway, so no one knew where he had relocated.

"Where is she?" he shouted as he gripped onto a Ghost by the throat.

Slamming the man into a wall, he repeated his question. Nothing. With an angry shout, Oliver threw him into the ground. The Ghost was already dead; he was the fourth of the night. He shoved his foot against his neck and throat repeatedly crushing him.

"Oliver!" Thea's voice came in through the comms, "Come back."

"I have to find her."

"We have a lead."

He immediately froze. A lead? After all this time? He almost couldn't believe it. His heart stuttered in his chest. He didn’t want to get his hopes up, but they had a lead.

"Felicity," his voice was barely a whisper.

It wasn't long before he was back at the bunker. Thea, Diggle, and Laurel were in front of the computer. His sister pointed to a blurry image.

"We picked this up," she said.

They had been using Felicity's facial recognition program, but nothing had pinged yet. Now, they had something.

"She's not too far away," Thea added, "If it's her."

"It has to be."

He had just gotten there, but he was ready to go again. There wasn't anyone or anything that could stop him from going to her.

"Ollie," Thea followed him.

"Either come with me or stay out of my way," he muttered lowly.

She looked to Diggle and Laurel, who didn't seem to want to say anything, but she nodded. Oliver didn't care if they thought this woman wasn't Felicity. It had to be, it just had to be her. They wouldn’t have told him about this blurry photo if there was any doubt. When he lost Felicity he felt as if he lost a part of himself. She was a bright part of his life; she had brought so much love and joy to him, he couldn’t stand being without her. It was his own personal hell.

He and Thea drove towards the location, he on his motorcycle and she in the van. Diggle and Laurel stayed on the comms just in case. He didn't think anything was going to go wrong. Maybe he was too hopeful, but he didn't care.  
The vehicles came to a stop when they saw a small woman wandering around. She wore black from head to toe and her blonde hair was in a loose ponytail. There was no doubt in his mind that it was her. He climbed off of the bike and started towards her. 

"Felicity," he breathed out her name.

She stopped and turned slowly. His breath caught in his throat. It was her. It was really her. Felicity was right there in front of him again. He walked closer. On her face, he could see little cuts that were beginning to heal. He was going to kill Damien for every laying a hand on her.

As he neared, though, he noticed that something wasn't right. She didn't seem excited, or happy, or anything really.

"Felicity?" he made her name a question.

The blonde reached into her jacket and pulled out a large dagger. She ran towards him ready to fight. He had never seen her like this.

"Oliver, we need to get out of here."

"No, I’m not leaving without her. Just stay out of the way."

He blocked every move Felicity made to attack him. There was no emotion in her eyes. Nothing. She was a vacant husk of the woman she used to be. No bright smile, no twinkle in her eyes. All he could see was a rage towards him that he didn’t understand. She gave an almost feral scream as she tried to slash at him. Her movements were not her own. Someone had trained her to fight with a knife, to use her body to her advantage, to use his height and weight to her advantage. 

"Stop this," he pleaded.

She continued to come after him, knife swinging. He couldn't put his hands on her. Never would he ever imagine harming her.

"Die," was the only word that left her lips.

The single word made his chest tighten. Felicity Smoak, the love of his life, was now trying to kill him. The woman that had never wished him harm.

"What did they do to you?" he whispered.

A moment of hesitation and she landed a cut on his arm. He could feel the warm blood trickling down his skin, but he didn't take any time to worry about it.

"You have to stop her," Thea shouted at him.

"I can't," he kept backing up and doing his best to block her movements.

Thea gave a frustrated shout. Oliver knew that his sister loved Felicity too, but she was more worried about getting to safety. Before he could stop her she came up behind Felicity, who didn't seem to notice her at all, and hit her on the back of the head. Felicity went limp and fell forward into Oliver's grasp.

"We have to go," Thea said, "Those goons are probably somewhere around here."

He let out a shaky breath as he held Felicity in his arms. There were so many questions going through his mind, but the first and most important question was, _how do I get my Felicity back?_

* * *

The team had to restrain Felicity. When she woke she immediately tried to attack Oliver again. She threw herself off of their makeshift hospital bed and onto him, nearly knocking over the chair he had set up beside the bed. Her hands wrapped around his throat. There was nothing in her eyes. _Nothing_. 

"You must die," she said in a monotone voice.

It killed him to see her like this. Darhk was a monster. That man knew what this would do to him. He knew that it would eat him up inside to see Felicity not only a violent robot, but an empty shell. The most amazing, intelligent, vibrant, and loving woman turned into this. 

He didn't want to fight her, but he didn't want to see her restrained in a bed in the bunker. She struggled and pulled at the binds. 

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

The rest of the team felt just as terrible as he did. He could see it in their faces. Their beloved friend and family member reduced to this. She was their Felicity and they all wanted her back. No one knew how to do it, though. He could only assume her condition had something to do with the yellow pills he had seen before. All they could do was hope that it left her system and returned her to normal.

He stayed in the bunker, watching her. She continued to struggle and mutter death threats at him. He leaned forward with his elbows on his knees and his head in his hand. Sighing, he rubbed his face.

"Felicity, come back to me," his voice cracked.

All he wanted was the love of his life in his arms once again.

Days went by before he saw any change. Felicity was sleeping, but what would normally be unmoving and extremely quiet sleep became fitful. She thrashed and whimpered as she slept. Sweat formed on her forehead.

He wondered what she was dreaming about, but he could guess that it had something to do with Darhk. It could have been a good sign she was dreaming again, but he worried about her. While they were taking care of her he saw the markings on her body. Scars from cuts and burns. Her body so thin and frail from weight loss. He had no idea how she had been pushing herself so hard to fight him.

It all made him hate Damien that much more.

"Felicity," his voice was quiet

She whipped her head from side to side and pulled against the restraints. Felicity choked on a sob before whimpering again.

"Oliver," she whined.

"Felicity," he moved to get up from the chair.

It was late in the night, so he was the only one there. He knew that if anyone else was there they would have told him to be careful, to stay back, but he couldn't. Carefully, he tried to wake her, but when her eyes opened there was still nothing there. She breathed heavily and reached for him.

"I'm going to kill you," in that moment his hope was crushed.

Felicity had been there at least for a moment. That meant something. It had to. He couldn't let go of his hope completely.

It was a few more days when there was a real breakthrough. She had been having a nightmare again. They became a nightly thing. He knew what that was like, to relive every moment of torture when he was asleep. It was something he hoped that his loved ones would never have to deal with. His chest ached every night when he watched her sleeping, thrashing about in her bed. She sweat to the point of her hair and her clothes becoming damp. Her cries of pain shook him to his very core. 

Felicity's eyes fluttered open and she tried to catch her breath.

"Felicity…" he said hesitantly.

"Oliver," she whispered back.

"Is it really you?"

"I don't know."

He got up again and walked towards her. She was looking away from him with tears in her eyes. It was the first real emotion he had seen from her.

"Felicity," he murmured.

"Oliver," she started to sob.

"Oh thank god," he felt relief flood his body, but it was short lived.

"Don't touch me," she cried out.

He stepped back and held his hands up in surrender.

"I don't want to hurt you, leave me in these," she buried her face into the pillow and cried harder.

"I'm not going to do that and you're not going to hurt me."

"I don't trust myself," her voice was a muffled whisper.

Letting out a shaky breath, he moved forward again. He let his hand fall against hers, even though all he wanted was to pull her against him and soothe her tears.

"Let me help you, please," he begged, "Please, Felicity. I need you to come back to me."


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i’ve been needing to update this for like.... almost 2 years and @queensoverwatch and i decided to have an angst competition today so here we are.

Felicity’s eyes opened slowly. Her head was fuzzy, making it difficult to form thoughts. She wished she didn’t know it was the feeling that came with being drugged. She tried to raise her arm, but found she was strapped to a chair. This was looking better and better.

“So glad you could join us, Ms. Smoak,” a familiar and unwanted voice filled the room.

His voice echoed, so she knew the room was large and rather empty without having to look around. She looked up towards where she thought she heard the source. Her vision was blurry, but she was trying to force herself out of her drugged state. She needed to be coherent.

“Fuck you,” she spat.

“Language,” Damien muttered.

He raised his hand; her throat tightened until she couldn’t breath. She straightened her back against the chair, gasping and struggling for air. He dropped his hand and she was able to breathe again. She sucked in air as quickly as she could. Her eyes stayed trained on him, waiting for his next move as if she could see it coming, brace herself or something.

“What do you want?” she demanded.

“You,” he said simply, “And you will not escape my grasp again, Ms. Smoak.”

She had evaded him before, but with a lot of help. Her friends and Oliver. But she had a feeling this was not going to go as smoothly as last time. Hours ago… a day ago? She had no how much time had past, but it didn’t matter. He had her before, locked in a gas chamber with Thea and John, and the three of them had almost died. Now it was only her, strapped to a metal chair, face to face with Damien Darhk.

“You don’t need me. Let me go!”

“But I do need you,” he took a few steps forward, his finger and thumb gripped her chin tightly, forcing her gaze up higher. Drugged and blurry-eyed she still saw that cold face, “You are the key to breaking him.”

She stared up at him and finally understood what she was doing there. This wasn’t about her, it was about Oliver. She swallowed thickly.

“Let me go,” she whispered.

“I’m afraid I cannot do that,” he let go of her chin and reached into his pocket. Damien pulled out a yellow pill. The same yellow pills he gave to his ghosts to keep them in line, “You’re going to take this for me now.”

“Not a snowball’s chance in hell.”

“We can do this the easy way or the hard way,” he said impatiently.

“Fuck. You.”

He sighed as if she were an inconvenience. Damien pocketed the pill again and took a step back. Felicity didn’t trust it and she was right not to. Her skin began to feel hot. A burning from underneath that slowly reached the surface. It started out as nothing more than heat, but as it continued became more and more painful. She glanced down at her arms and noticed a red tinge to her forearms. Her skin was literally burning from the inside out. She swallowed back a whimper, but she couldn’t stop the tears that formed in her eyes. It wasn’t until the top layer of her flesh began to scald that she let out a scream.

Felicity whipped her head back against the chair, writing against it as she screamed. The burns traveled up the length of her arm, threatening to take her shoulders too.

Then suddenly… it stopped.

She slumped into the chair, panting heavily. Tears stained her cheeks. Spit wet her lips from the screaming.

“Take the pill.”

“Never.”

* * *

Damien didn’t let up on the torture. He simply changed tactics. When burning her didn’t work, he switched to electrocution, and when she still refused to take the pill he began to use knives; cuts on very parts of her body, from her face to her abdomen and back. He wanted her to take the pill willingly, but she was fighting him at every turn.

It was three weeks into her torture when she felt herself growing weaker. Along with abusing her body, he refused to give her food or much water. He was barely keeping her alive.

“If you would cooperate,” he said, leaning in close with the pill.

She stared at it hard. Felicity didn’t want to be weak. She didn’t want to give into him, but she was scared. Her body hurt, she was hungry, and tired.

“Take it,” he whispered.

Her lip quivered, “Okay,” her voice cracked, “I’ll take it.”

* * *

The effects of the pill weren’t immediate, but she could feel herself dimming with each pill she took. She thought the torture would stop when she agreed to take the damn things, but it only changed. She was put in what could only be described as aversion therapy. With the drugs dulling her mind, she was sat in a chair, facing a television screen. Various images played across the screen. Everything was fine until a picture of Oliver as the Green Arrow flash in front of her eyes. A small smile pulled at her lips. When she smiled she was given a harsh shock with a pole like object from behind.

“Wrong,” a voice said beside her.

In between therapy sessions, she was taught to fight with a blade. Close fighting to make it more personal.

Months of training went by before Darhk deemed her ready. She didn’t feel like Felicity anymore. They had pumped her so full of drugs there was barely a flicker behind her eyes. She could only do as she was told.

“Felicity,” Damien said.

She stood at attention.

“Look at him,” he pointed to a hooded man in front of her, “What are you going to do?”

She looked at the man ahead of her. Her eyes tried to focus, but all she could see was Oliver. The sight of him brought feelings of hate, pain, and disgust.

“Kill him,” she growled.

Damien handed her a large knife, “Do it.”

She ran at the man. He defended himself, but didn’t really fight back; he wasn’t supposed to. She screamed and slashed at him.

“Oliver Queen must die,” she slammed the knife into his chest.

The man staggered back and fell to the floor. His hood fell away, revealing just another person. One of Darhk’s ghost. Felicity felt no remorse for what she had done.

“This is not Oliver Queen,” she muttered.

“Go find him,” Darhk commanded, “Find him and kill him no matter the cost.”

“Find him and kill him.”

* * *

Felicity had failed her mission. She had gotten caught and now she was strapped to a bed with her target beside her. Pulling at the restraints did nothing. It only aggravated the barely healed wounds on her arms. She screamed and fought. The sounds from her were more animal than human.

Every time Oliver came near her, she wanted to lash out and hurt him. She had to kill him. It was her mission. She had to. _She had to_.

* * *

The longer she was there, the more she could feel herself coming back, but it was a fight. The drugs may leave her system, but Darhk’s damage was done.

Oliver let her out of the restraints.

“You shouldn’t have done that,” she whispered.

“I trust you.”

“You shouldn’t!” she screamed as she leaped at him.

The shock of it caused him to stumble. He fell back onto the hard floor. She wrapped her hands around his throat. He gripped her wrists.

“Stop,” he choked out.

“I can’t,” she cried, “I have to kill you. It is my mission.”

He pulled at her wrists, but he seemed afraid to hurt her. She wouldn’t let go. Couldn’t let go. She had to kill him. Felicity watched his eyes. Watched as that last bit of life left them.

She gasped, her eyes fluttering open.

“Felicity?” Oliver’s voice met her ears.

“Oliver,” she whispered.

Tears rolled down her cheeks. She couldn’t breath. Her mind was her own again, but she could still feel Damien at the edges.

“Is it really you?”

“I don’t know.”

He started to come towards her, “Felicity.”

“Oliver,” she sobbed.

He reached towards her, but she pulled away quickly, “Don’t touch me,” she cried out.

Oliver took a step back and held his hands up in surrender.

"I don't want to hurt you, leave me in these," she buried her face into the pillow and cried harder.  
"I'm not going to do that and you're not going to hurt me."  
"I don't trust myself," her voice was a muffled whisper.  
He let out a shaky breath and let his hands fall against hers. "Let me help you, please," he begged, "Please, Felicity. I need you to come back to me."

“Stay away from me,” she choked.

“I’m not going anywhere,” he whispered.

“You don’t understand,” she screamed into the pillow, “All I can think about is killing you,” her body shuddered violently.

He pulled back slightly, “I thought when the drugs left your system…”

“I can’t get it out of my head, please… please just leave.”

Oliver got up and left the room, but she wasn’t alone for long. John came in and gently put his hand on her back.

“Felicity,” he whispered, “Can I let you go.”

“Just keep Oliver away from me.”

“He’s going to stay back,” John promised, “We’re going to get you a shower and some food.”

Felicity nodded slowly. The tears lessened, but her body shook. She had never been scared of herself, but at that moment she didn’t trust anyone less than herself. What if she really did hurt Oliver? She didn’t think he had it in him to fight her. He was gentle and kind. They were engaged and he would _never_ put his hands on someone he loved like that.

_Engaged_. They had gotten engaged in December.

“What month is it?” she whispered as John undid the restraints.

“Just entered June.”

“Oh god,” she whispered.

“We’re glad to have you back, Felicity.”

_How can you say that about a monster?_

Felicity stood in front of the mirror in the small bathroom. She hadn’t seen her body in months. Now she was wishing she had kept it that way. She was nothing but bones and scars. Some of the markings on her body resembled Oliver’s. There was a long knife scar across her left breast. It had been reopened several times, purposeful scarring. Burns along the tops of her forearms. Burns on her lower back from a cattle prod. A small knife mark under her eye and more various other places across her body. She frequently told Oliver there was nothing to be ashamed of when it came to scars. They were proof that she had survived, but still she felt like crying as she stared at her naked form.

She didn’t cry until she was curled under the hot water. Arms wrapped around herself and huddled near the floor. She refused to let anyone else hear her cry that day. But she couldn’t keep it inside anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let me know what you think!
> 
> tumblr & twitter: felicityollies


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